Hmmm … You Smell Like Grease

What the deuce?

Just in time for your mom Santa to toss this in your Christmas stocking, Burger King has released a limited-edition men’s body spray that evokes the smell of freshly broiled Whoppers. But isn’t this what they spray on the burgers already for authenticity? No! According to a press release, “The King is setting hearts ablaze for the holidays with his new scent of choice. FLAME™, a new men’s body spray by Burger King Corp., features the scent of seduction with the hint of flame-broiled meat. A favorite of the King, FLAME™ is available for purchase for a limited time at select Ricky’s retailers in-store or online.” Because nothing’s more romantic than the scent of mass-produced beef patties…except maybe the sultry FLAME™ website, which is really putting us in the mood (for salad).

I have the wrong number of X-chromosomes to answer this. But do women really get turned on by the smell old grease and broken dreams? No wonder I couldn’t get lucky in high school.