{"id":510,"date":"2007-09-25T20:16:08","date_gmt":"2007-09-26T02:16:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michaelsiegel.net\/?p=510"},"modified":"2007-09-25T20:16:08","modified_gmt":"2007-09-26T02:16:08","slug":"death-rattle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michaelsiegel.net\/?p=510","title":{"rendered":"Death Rattle"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Today, I bought my daughter her first toy. Or at least tried. All I wanted was a simple straight-forward rattle. Just a damned stick with a damned ball on one end that made a lot of noise and that I will one day step on and subsequently fall down the stairs.<\/p>\n<p>You can&#8217;t buy one. Babies R&#8217; Us doesn&#8217;t have them. Nor does Amazon, nor does Ebay &#8211; except for expensive souvenier rattles. They have plenty of soft stuff and &#8220;natural&#8221; or &#8220;educational&#8221; toys but not just a simple God-damned rattle that my little girl can pick up and shake and make happy goo-goo noises as a result of her burgeoning musical talent.<\/p>\n<p>What the hell?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Today, I bought my daughter her first toy. Or at least tried. All I wanted was a simple straight-forward rattle. Just a damned stick with a damned ball on one end that made a lot of noise and that I will one day step on and subsequently fall down the stairs. You can&#8217;t buy one. &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/michaelsiegel.net\/?p=510\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Death Rattle<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-510","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-culture"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2BzKF-8e","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelsiegel.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/510","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelsiegel.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelsiegel.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelsiegel.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelsiegel.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=510"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michaelsiegel.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/510\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelsiegel.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=510"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelsiegel.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=510"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelsiegel.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=510"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}