Dammit. The Braves got rained out last night. It was supposed to be a TBS broadcast. But because the game was rescheduled for this afternoon, I can’t watch it on TBS or on MLB.TV. The reason is that any games played in FOX’s window from noon to 6 pm are automatically blacked out of MLB.TV and can only be broadcast by local networks. If it ain’t on FOX during that time, you can’t watch it Extra Innings or MLB.TV or any national cable channel. In fact, I suspect that if I had someone use an iSight to stream it from New England, they’d break my legs.

This is insane. This is second time in two months MLB.TV has screwed me. First I couldn’t watch Mark Buerhle’s no-hitter because my home is in a Texas Rangers blackout zone even while my body isn’t. And now I can’t watch Dice-K and my Braves because a rain delay put us into the Fox bubble.

I suspect that as long as they are raking in the cash, however, MLB won’t care about the real fans.

Dammit. Roger Clemens signed with the Yankees. Just when you think the monster is dead….

I blame Bush.

Seriously, I’ve never understood the excitement about the NFL draft. I’m always vaguely interested by the spectacle just baffles me. I’m perfectly A lot of these guys will never amount to much. All we know for sure is that Detroit has, yet again, blown a high draft pick on a wide receiver.

In the meantime, the best part of the draft every year is that it prompts a rare offseason TMQ.

Since TBS has cancelled Braves’ broadcasts after thirty uninterrupted years of wonderful sports entertainment — not that I’m bitter — I had to bite the bullet and buy MLB’s internet TV, which allows me to watch just about any game on my computer.

So far, I like it. It’s not idealized for Macintosh, but it works and it gives me something to watch in the early hours of my observing run. TBS has been shrinking its coverage for a while and MLB TV is a wonderful improvement over little dots on a screen (although MLB’s gameday is outstanding).

That having been said, I’ve now encountered the biggest complaint — blackouts. The entire nation has been divided into fiefdoms and assigned to certain teams. And those teams are blacked out in those regions in order to protect cable TV coverage — whether said coverage exists or not. So tonight, while Mark Buehrle was tossing a no-hitter, I was unable to watch because I’m in a Texas Rangers blackout zone.

This is insane. In the first place, there is no accounting for the fact that I simply can’t watch a cable broadcast because there is no cable on the mountain and I’m in a fucking dome. Second, this represents the common way of entertainment ventures these days — protect copyright by pissing all over your fans. Whether its music downloading, movie pirating or baseball, they have decided to slap the fans in the face repeatedly.

Allowing me to watch a Texas Rangers game on the internet in no way hurts the cable company. But denying me the opportunity to watch baseball history makes me want to cancel the whole thing.

Sports Media Twerp — the kind of individual lambasted at Fire Joe Morgan who is self-important, utterly certain of his predictions, unaccountable for anything stupid or wrong he says and sets the common fan’s understanding of the game backward rather than forward.

The defining traits of the SMT are: 1) overconfidence (“Ohio State is clearly the best team in the nation!”); 2) condescension (“See, he moved the runner over. That’s what wins championships!”); 3) ignorance (their ability to ignore a key block on a big run, or Kobe’s blatant travelling); 4) star-worship (MNF’s endless worship of celebrities, the inability to criticize obvious mistakes, such as a launching a three-point shot with 20 seconds left on the shot clock and a ten-point lead).

It’s easier to define an SMT by who isn’t one than who is since they are very common. Greg Easterbrook isn’t. Rob Neyer isn’t. Most of the boys at Baseball Prospectus aren’t. John Sickels isn’t. Ron Jaworski isn’t. Mark May isn’t (Chris will disagree). Chris Berman and Tom Jackson aren’t, except in self-mocking humor. Keith Jackson and Vin Scully aren’t. One sign of someone who isn’t an SMT is that they will admit to having been wrong and usually be more excited when they’re wrong than when they’re right. All the above qualify.

Where can you find the best example of SMT’s? Monday Night Football is loaded with them to the point of being unwatchable. Rush Limbaugh is, big time. Or was. Bill Simmons can be, especially on the subject of Payton Manning. Bill Walton. And much of the crew of Baseball Tonight.

Blogged by me in January: this year feels conservative for the Final Four.

Reality in March: The lowest seed in the sweet 16 was #7 UNLV — who really shouldn’t have been rated so low. Elite eight is four #1’s, three #2’s and a #3.

Having said that, all four #1’s will now lose.

I’ve had politics on the brain lately. The last few books I read — Somebody’s Gotta Say It and Player Piano, in particular, are political. College football is done, baseball hasn’t really started and there are very few interesting movies out.

Worse, I’m observing during the Final Four. By the time I get back home, we’ll be down to the finals and I’ll have missed a lot of great basketball. Argh! I am, however, proud that I correctly picked UVa to choke. Much as I loved being there, they never seem to go very far.

One of the things I regret about losing my archive are my rantings and ravings about the Sports Media Twerps, otherwise known as SMTs. But I can find some solace here.

Ah, it feels so good to have friends to share my suffering. Read his fisking on the Tom Brady issue. Or further down where he calls Bill Simmons out for a) six months ago, stating that DJ didn’t belong in the basketball hall of fame six months ago; b) after DJ’s death, castigating the HOF for not inducting him.

But then, consistency has never been Simon’s forte. Unless it’s bashing Payton Manning.