Mitchell fisks Novak. Novak is trying to argue that Bush is a conservative. This is apparently some definition of conservative I am not familiar with. Actually it is one I’m quite familiar with. It’s defined thusly:

Whatever the GOP wants to do, by definition, is conservative.


I’ll add my own reasons of why the Douchebag is full of crap:

  • It is true that under his watch the federal government’s debt has grown, but the enormous expenses incurred after September 11 must be taken into account. So tell me, Novak: how did building a bridge to nowhere help us recover from 9/11.
  • Many call attention to the president’s eight substantive tax-cuts. Tax cuts that will vanish the second Bush leaves office. Those aren’t tax cuts. That’s temporary vote-buying.
  • Novak goes on about Bush’s pro-life record, including the unconstitutional partial birth abortion ban. (I agree that the practice is hideous. But wasn’t abortion supposed to be a states’ rights thing?) But I love this quote: He dedicated unprecedented funds to abstinence education through the Department of Health and Human Services. Education that teaches you can get AIDS from tears. I highly recommend renting Penn and Teller’s show Bullshit! where they tear into abstinence-only education. If nothing else, watching the girl pleasure herself is worth the rental price. Abstinence has always been “taught” in our schools. What Bush has brought is abstinence-only education, which is incredibly ineffective and is now thought to lead to more disease and teen pregnancy.
  • Bush endorsed the Federal Marriage Amendment, which defines marriage as a contract between one man and one woman. Novak loves the rape of federalism, apparently.
  • He repeatedly speaks of the family as the “unseen pillar of civilization.” ‘Cuz as long as he says nice things, who cares what he does.
  • He signed the Deficit Reduction Act of 2005, which will curb Medicare/Medicaid spending by $11 billion over the next five years.. Well, that’s a 1% reduction.
  • He braved the “third rail” of American politics in his attempt to reform Social Security. And accomplished nothing.
  • He ordered every department of government to assess points of cooperation with faith-based initiatives. Because God knows what those faith-based intiatives needed was government intrusion.
  • He signed into law prescription drug assistance for the elderly … come in substantially under budget. Which budget? The lie he told Congress to get them to vote for it? Or the 50% increased projection he had later? And the reason it came in under budget is because no one wants to use it – unless their employers boot them out of their private systems.Some object that this “compassionate government” bit is not conservative, but it is in accordance with Ronald Reagan’s modified acceptance of the welfare state. I can’t even respond to this, it’s such horse-poop.
  • Essentially, Novak is arguing that Bush has been “conservative” by proving that Big Government can work if it’s the right kind of Big Government — i.e., run by religious lunatics. But as the response to Katrina, the War in Iraq, the Plame Affair and now this business with the US Attorney is showing, Bush Big Government can’t even do what Small government is supposed to do. So why should we entrust the vast engine of our society to these idiots.
  • Really, it’s a waste of effort responding to Novak. He has to type his articles out because no can understand him when he speaks — Bush’s dick being so far down his throat.

    Why is Scooter Libby going to jail and Robert Novak isn’t in front of a firing squad?