I’m sorry. I know some kids have been killed (they conspicuously avoid saying how many over how long a period of time). But this is pure hysteria. Watch it and tell me that it doesn’t seem like a parody to you.

It must be sweeps weeks because my local TV is doing the same thing. I can’t turn on the radio or TV without hearing about how some menace is going to kill me.

Jesus Christ, newsmedia, will you stop trying to panic people over obscure and minimal dangers? Even if I accept that 31 kids have been killed by soccer goals, that’s far less than die in car accidents, drownings or by their own hand. Every death is a horrible tragedy but let’s get some perspective and concentrate on the big menaces. Children are safer than they’ve ever been. But you wouldn’t know that to listen to our panic-mongering media. Because there’s no way to make a child 100% safe.

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