Greg Gutfield says it best on conspiracy theorists (see my JFK-conspiracy bashing below):

The flaw in that, however, is even if we wanted to pull off a conspiracy – we are incapable, because an inside job requires total silence, and America can’t shut up. But as long as you have Brian DiPalma, Oliver Stone and Charlie Sheen assuming the worst about humanity, you will have to deal with nutjobs who think they’re smart, but aren’t.

Conspiracy theories require an ability to connect the dots, not the facts – all propped up by a desire to feel smarter than everyone else – because you have it all figured out. That’s probably the biggest conspiracy of all – that these theories only exist to make people think those who spout them have brains – when in fact they wouldn’t know reality if it sent them an instant message on their mom’s computer.

Preach it, brother.