Noun – a birth process that only takes place in movies and TV. It proceeds in three stages.

1 – water breaks
2 – woman starts screaming in pain
3 – within ten minutes, gives birth to a baby that is about the size of a six-month old (no wonder she screamed!).

It’s infuriating. The only movie that I know that deviated was Knocked Up, which had things like bloody show, not knowing if your water has broken, spending the first few hours of labor at home, not being able to get an epidural late, etc.

The worst case I’ve seen in a while was this week’s terrible episode of SVU. Egads. Isn’t it time to retire this cliche?