You can never find your cellphone. I’m bad with cellphones to begin with. I rarely carry mine and it’s constantly out of juice. A couple of years ago, I lost a phone in West Texas. And another perished in the Great Root Beer Incident of 2007.

But now that I have a kid — one who is utterly fascinated by my phone — I can pretty much kiss it goodbye. It will go missing for days only to later reappear it in the cat food. It’s really only a matter of time until it’s flushed down the toilet.