Bond, Baby Bonds

Hillary is proposing to give every child a $5000 bond at birth. It would be popular, no doubt. And practically the first thing the libs would squeak is, “If we can find $190 billion for a war in Iraq, we can find $20 billion for kids!” Of course, we’re deficit spending out the ying-yang, so we actually can’t find money to spend in Iraq.

You have to almost admire the brazenness of it. Mrs. Clinton isn’t even pretending this is anything but a wealth transfer. All the “rich” will have money taken from them and it will be given to babies. They’ll probably combine it with the return of the inheritance tax so they can say they’re making “all Americans the heirs of the wealthy”. So the rich don’t get the pleasure of making the babies, just the pleasure of paying for them.

I shouldn’t beat this particularly straw man, but I can’t resist. I’m in a good mood today, so breaking down liberal stupidity will be fun.

First, not longer after this is implemented, we will get cries to raise the amount (see SCHIP). After all, doubling it to $10k is only another $20 billion. If we can find money for [insert name of war here], we can find money for America’s kids! We will also get calls to provide money to kids who were born just before the program was implemented.

Second, will it be in a government-run trust – like the trusts that are going bankrupt all over the nation and consist entirely of little pieces of paper that say, “IOU $6 trillion”? Or will be allowed to invest it in “approved” funds? (And you thought private investment was baaad!) I suspect that what would happen is every kid in America would be issued a piece of paper at birth that is redeemable at age 18 for $10,000 (4% interest, about what bonds are earning).

Third, no matter how much our politicians twist and turn like a bunch of twisty turny things, the law of unintended consequences will be obeyed. Parents blowing money on themselves instead of setting up college funds; lower and middle income people having babies they can’t afford on the promise of five grand. And what about illegal immigrants? If they download a baby on our soil, do they get $5k? Thank you, Mrs. Clinton. You’ve now created a $5,000 incentive to break the law.

If Mrs. Clinton makes this a centerpiece of her campaign, and wins, many of these unintended consequences will happen, regardless of whether she implements the program or not. When politicians make huge promises, millions think those promises have been delivered once they are elected. I can still remember after Bush was elected, people being puzzled because their taxes hadn’t been cut.

What really gets my boxers in a bunch is that I am a new father myself. I thought about the government giving me $5000 to deposit for her future.

And, to be honest, I felt a little sick.

I don’t want the government’s stinking money. I want to provide for my own baby (shortly after she was born, I salted some money away in a 529). She inspires me to work harder and be more responsible. One of the great pleasure in life is coming home after work, seeing her asleep in the crib and knowing I’ve done right by her, even if she doesn’t know it.

With this proposal and the clamor to expand SCHIP, Hillary wants to take that away and make my daughter and every other daddy’s daughter in the country a government-bought dependent. I’m sure Mrs. Clinton fantasizes that every dad, instead of providing for his own daughter, will put put a picture of Hillary above the crib and tell their daughters, “That’s President Clinton! She’s building your future!”

Get the fuck out of my nursery, bitch. You’re not her father. It’s not your damned job to give her wealth, it’s mine. Confine yourself to keeping the criminals away and the terrorists at bay. Keep the economy humming with benign neglect. But don’t make her your dependent from the Baby Bumbo on.

Quit offering us money. We don’t need your stinkin’ charity. That goes for all of you up in Washington, Republican and Democrat, Left and Right, conservative and liberal. Raise your own damned kids. And let me raise mine.

Comments are closed.